Lily Comes Out
by Child of the Muse
Summary: It's what's on the inside that counts, no matter what anybody says.


When I was young, everyone around me said I was the greatest quidditch player around. I never minded breaking my bones to catch the snitch or getting skinned knees and ripping up my jeans. And sliding in the mud was all part of the fun when it was raining during quidditch was all part of the fun.

I was shy though, because I always seemed to embaress mum when I would wrestle or get dirty or rip my clothes. She always tried to persuade me to leave my friends and play with these odd looking girls that I didn't even know. So I tried. But in all fairness, the girls were boring. All they did was play with dolls and giggle and dress up in stupid frilly dresses. I never wanted to be one of those girls. And eventually, mum stopped trying to make me and she had come to terms pretty quick with the fact that I didn't like guys one day when I told her to just stop it. "Mum, I don't like guys, I don't think they're cute, and I never will. So can we just stop talking about them? It's annoying."

After that, she never bought me a single dress. She always came to my quidditch matches and cheered as loud as my dad. Her comments about boys stopped altogether and she'd even started saying a few comments about pretty girls.

The first time she did, it shocked me. I'd never thought about boys like that much less girls. And I hoped it wouldn't become a regular thing with her, but those were sparse luckily. I was never really sure what she was playing at. But there were times where she would point out a pretty dark skinned girl. And I had to agree with her, when they didn't act frilly or stupid, they were actually quite beautiful.

So all in all, my mum came to terms with the fact that I didn't like guys pretty quick. Her mum knew that all Lily saw around her were good quidditch players, trained wizards, or potion makers, never anything more. Mum had given up on trying to get me to have a boyfriend and she eventually just came to terms with the fact that for the rest of my life, I would remain single. And I came to terms with it too.

After all, I didn't think I was honestly missing out on anything. At least, I _thought_ I wasn't missing out on anything. That all changed the day I met Roxanne Weasley.

I was pretty sure my eyes practically bugged out of her head when I first saw the brown skinned black haired beauty and for the first time, I got a really funny feeling in my stomach, as though I'd swallowed a bucket of butterflies. Mum said that I might have that reaction someday and that it was perfectly normal. So at least I knew I wasn't weird. But was it natural to have that with a girl? Was that why mum had always pointed out girls to me?

As I pondered over this, I didn't realize that I was staring.

"I'm sorry, is this your cubicle?"

My heart stopped...and thank picked up double time. "Oh, no I'm sorry. I'll just be off." _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ I felt like smacking myself! I couldn't believe I had been stupid enough to get caught staring. Could I be any more of a dolt?

"Wait...your Lily, Harry Potter's daughter, right?"

"Um...Yes."

She beamed, and her smile blew me away. "I'm Roxanne. George's daughter. Our mum's and dad's know each other." Roxanne held out her hand and I grasped like a man underwater searching for a liferaft. I was shocked by how smooth her hand felt against mine. And what shocked me even more was that she was talking to me! _Me!_ I tried to keep my cool but I was pretty sure that I failed entirely. At least I didn't come off as a creepy stalker.

"It's nice to meet you."

"You too. You wanna share the cubicle?"

"Of course! I...I mean, if you don't mind that is."

"Not at all."

And so I dragged in my luggage and took a seat. I was embaressed by all the noise it made but that was quickly overshadowed as we began talking.

That day was no doubt one of the best of my life. The trolly had come and we'd both bought sweets and we shared stories of our childhood's and related of our father's adventures. Most of the stories, dad had never told me about. And even the ones he had were so much more interesting coming from her mouth. She beautiful perfect white teeth.

"And so than, George blows up the entire store and all Mr. Zonko says is 'That's coming out of your paycheck!' "

I couldn't help but laugh. Fred and George had really done some amazing things together, and not just managing to blow up an entire store. Who had the guts to prank the minister of _magic_? I was more than impressed.

"So I heard your father was always getting into trouble too?"

"He was! Did you hear about the basalisk?"

And on and on our conversation went. Into the boats, across the lake, through the great hall, and we only broke up to both be sorted into Gryffindor, where we continued our conversation.

Through the years, we both got into lots of mischief, much to our father's delight and our mother's detriment. We'd both recieved more than one howler and mum constantly said that Roxanne was a bad influence on me. She went as far as trying to ban me from seeing her ever again. But I begged Aunt Hermione to talk to her. And _that_ was definitely an awkward conversation.

"Please Auntie. She's the only person I've ever loved...I mean...uh, she's the only girl I've ever liked...wait that didn't come out right. I mean she's-"

"I understand how your feeling. And I've known how you felt about her for a long time. Your mum is more scared that your going to get hurt."

"How can she hurt me? Please, she's the only friend I have."

Hermione's voice was exasperated. "Lily, you have lots of friends."

"Yes...but none of them are girls."

She was about to open her mouth when she blinked and realized, "Your right." A strange glint entered her eye. "You won't have to ever worry about being separated from Roxanne. I won't allow it. I promise."

And than she ran to my mother and I definitely didn't want to follow. When Aunt Hermione got the crazy twinkle in her eye...well, let's just say there are some things you don't want to know.

I knew when Aunt Hermione spoke to her because immediately after, mum started to treat me and Roxanne different. All three of us would constantly have slumber parties and would play all kinds of games like tree crawler, where you were transformed into a animal and had to see how high you could climb. We had a blast and I was glad that mum liked my friend so much. That really made me feel great, even if I was a bit confused about mum's changed in attitude.

But than again, women were confusing. But not Roxy. She was...different. She wasn't like all the other prissy wanna be's.

She loved quidditch and was a chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team like her mum. I was a seeker like dad. They even let me play on the team in my first year and I begged for Roxanne to play her first year too. They made an exception because the current chaser wanted more time to study. So all the more fun for us! We definitely weren't complaining.

But even with all the energy we put into Quidditch, we _still_ couldn't stop getting into trouble. Pranking people was just way too much fun. But mum had just started liking Roxy and I didn't want to blow it. So slowly but surely, we learned the art of sneaking, which Fred's ghost was more than happy to teach us. We learned how to quietly roam the castle without getting caught and we even knew more secret passageways than Fred and George combined!

In five years, me and Roxanne had become closer than anyone. We told each other everything...well, almost everything. Because in all those five years, I had never told Roxanne about my secret. The one I didn't want to tell anyone. The one I didn't even want to know. The fact that I was...well, that I...liked her. And not in a friendly way either. I mean, we were friends but we...it was just too confusing for me.

And from what I knew about the wizarding world, they didn't look down too kindly on two girls or two guys. It freaked everyone out and in some places, they would even be denied service! It made me angry. But I didn't care about all of that for me. I didn't want Roxy to get hurt. And even moreso, I didn't want to hurt my mum.

When I was little, Mum always wanted me to get married and give her grandchildren. It was all she talked about. And I just wasn't interested, even though I wanted to make mum happy. And I was sure the Angelina and George wanted the same thing for Roxanne. They wanted her to make them happy. Plus, everyone would think I was some kind of freak and I couldn't imagine how much trouble I would be in if everyone found out that I was...a lesbian.

But secrets weren't meant to be locked up forever.

And it was in fifth year that my secret was no longer a secret.

Fourth years and up were allowed to go to the yule ball, but last year I hadn't attended due to a nasty case of the dragon pox. I'd begged Roxanne to go without me, but she never left my side, saying that she wouldn't have had fun if I wasn't there. So she stayed with me and threatened to hex my mouth shut if I didn't stop telling her to go to the ball.

So it was in the hospital wing that we had our own kind of fun. I would turn her invisible and pretend to talk to "the wall" every time the nurse came in, much to our amusement. And no matter how many times she gave me a sedative, we always had a potion to counter it. The look the nurse gave me was priceless. And it was definitely the most fun I had that whole entire year. But not because of that. It was because when I fell asleep that night, I got to spend the whole time sleeping in her arms.

But the downside to that meant I knew nothing about balls or dancing. So I wasn't sure where she learned it.

"C'mon. I'll teach you. It's just as easy as riding a broomstick."

"So says you! Tall girls with big feet can't dance."

"Oh but they can climb trees and ride broom sticks and wrestle anyone in the slippery mud without falling?"

"I used a non-sticking spell!"

"Which doesn't work that well! C'mon Lily flower. For me? Pretty please? I promise I won't let you fall."

That pout worked on me every time.

She smiled as she pulled me in to a waltz. Despite my nervousness, I let her lead, and I was surprised by how easy it was. She was great to dance with.

So we split up to look for dresses and I was shocked to find my mum in the three broomsticks.

"Mum?"

"Lily, I was just waiting for you. It's time to go try on ball gowns...or tuxes." She looked at me thoughtfully and I was confused.

We walked into the nearest clothes store and she pointed to the two sides. "Ballgowns or tuxedos?"

"Um...what?"

"For the ball. For you and your date. I know your going with a girl but she told me not to tell you. She wanted it to be a surprise. So...ballgowns or tuxedos?"

"But...but...aren't you angry?"

"Why would I be angry honey?"

"Because I'm a freak."

Her eyes narrowed in anger and she bent down and looked me in the eye. "Lily Luna Potter! If I ever hear that come out of your mouth again-"

"But I like girls mum. Girls who like girls are freaks."

"And whoever told you that? Some of my best friends in the world are gay and lesbian. Your sexuality has nothing to do with who you are as a person. It's not your sexual orientation, your marital status, your gringotts vault, or the color of your skin that determines who you are as a person. It's the content of your heart that makes you who you really are. And don't even let anyone else tell you otherwise."

"But what about kids?"

"I have boys who are all straight and more than willing to marry a pretty girl. I'll have plenty of chances for grandchildren. But you only find your true love once in a lifetime."

I wrapped my arms around my mum. She really was, besides Roxy, my best friend.

"Now please for Merlin's sake dear, tuxedos or dresses?"

And so after shopping for dresses and getting ready for the ball, me and Roxy went downstairs together and I waited at the bottom. I wanted to know who it was that would be taking her. I wanted to make sure that, if I couldn't take her, that whoever would take her would treat her right. So I stopped at the bottom of the stairs as she continued to walk. But she stopped and turned around to look at me.

"Lily, what are you doing?"

"Waiting."

"Um...for who?"

"Don't you have a date?"

She looked crestfallen. "No, I do but...I thought...well...I thought maybe we were,um...going together? I thought that you were my date. Didn't your mum tell you?"

It was as if a balloon full of joy had burst inside of my body and I grabbed her hand. "What are you waiting for slowpoke!? Let's go!"

I was sure the the same side splitting grin was on her face that was on mine. And so we danced the night away and refused every boy's offer to dance. This was our time.

At the end of the night, around eleven or so, we were walking around the snowy ground in a little gazeebo. I was nervous about what would happen next but she seemed so relaxed and we sat on a little bench covered in lights.

"Lily, from the moment I met you on the train in first year, I knew there was something special about it. And I can't believe it's taken me five years to know what it is. We've been together for so long and I..." Her eyes were shining with tears and she began to cry. "I know that you've probably got a guy that your dating. And I know you probably don't like girls but please-"

"I don't like girls. I don't like guys either. There's only been one person that has ever caught my attention Roxanne."

She smiled and with a tenderness that took my breath away, her lips met mine. Suddenly, there were fireworks popping in the distance and they looked even more glorious to me, reflected back in those beautiful brown eyes.

It was than that I knew that being gay had nothing to do with who you were on the inside. How could it, when I had the most beautiful, purest, sweetest girl ever sitting right here?


End file.
